Dating Problem Forum :: Does he or she fancy me?
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 Subject :does the girl from work fancy me.. 17-05-2009 02:29:56 
workman
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I've worked with a young lady for almost 10 years now.  She started working out our company when she was only 16 and I was 28.  

 

For several years she flirted with me constantly in the early days.  I couldn't find her attractive though at first, because she was only a child and very immature as well.  So I just saw her as someone to have a laugh with.  After a few years she stopped coming in our office on a regular basis and was only coming in once a week for instance. 

 

She had a boyfriend since she started and has finished with him several times over the years and has kept getting back with that boyfriend after a few months of being single.  At one point she was constantly flirting with me and it all built up when I asked for her phone number.  We texted a few times, but then she started ignoring me.  We didn't talk for a few months at work, then all of a sudden she started talking to me again.

 

She built up the flirting over a series of months and kept hinting at us going away and staying in a hotel together.  I said, yes I wouldn't mind going away with you, you are good fun.  She laughed and just walked out.  I then text her and said, do you fancy going away this weekend then.  She didn't reply!

 

She went quiet on me again for a few weeks.  Then out of the blue she text me a strange message.  I text back saying I think you've got the wrong person.  She said she hadn't haha.  I said ok then why did you say "will you go out with me?" (she didn't say that, I was just winding her up because we always joked with each other).  She said "well, I can't remember that I must have been drunk."  We had a conversation for a bit.  Then I said I'm going to Manchester today, do you fancy going?  She said yeah, why you going there.  I said just fancy a day out, she said yeah I'm up for that.

 

I said I'll pick you up round your house and we can go.  Then all of a sudden, she text back saying "sorry think I've text the wrong person after all".  Then the next morning when I was at work, I received a text from her again.  Again it was a strange message, almost like it wasn't for me.  Then a few seconds later, she text back saying sorry wrong person.  This seriously pissed me off, because I'd only just recovered from the fact she rejected me the night before.  Now I was going to have to spend a day at work with her and it felt as though she was laughing at me.

 

For months she didn't speak to me.  Then when she did start speaking to me, she was all friendly again and being really nice to me.  I was embarrassed to be honest so I was very hesitant about getting talking to her again.  After all, I had asked her out and she had rejected me, though there was an element of doubt about that, you never know when women are playing games with your head.

 

To be honest I stopped finding her attractive after all this because it's a big turn off for me being messed about and rejected.  But we work together and I decided we need to be friends, she is very funny, as well as very attractive.

 

We now talk a lot again each week and it's been like that for a few years now.  In recent months she's finished her boyfriend and started dating other guys.  What's weird is she keeps either talking to me about the guys she is dating or talking in front of me with every bit of detail including sex.  She's giving me far more eye contact than she ever has whilst speaking to me and keeps asking my opinion, like where should we go on dates etc etc.  What shall I say to him.  Then she tells me all the sexual stuff she did with him, which really I don't particularly want to know!

 

Does she fancy me or is she just seeing me as a friend?  There's a big age difference between us and despite the fact she's grown up a lot since she first started I'm not sure I could go out with someone so immature, plus she has a boyfriend now and I don't find it a particular turn on.  So really just want to know does she fancy me for the sake of making sure I don't give her the wrong idea, plus also a bit confused about whether she ever fancied me and want to resolve that issue in my head.

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 Subject :Re:does the girl from work fancy me.. 19-05-2009 01:41:31 
Spookycat
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Joined: 15-05-2009 12:19:15
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 Hi,

 I think she does fancy you in a way. All the talk of other guys sounds like she's trying to gauge your reaction.

Whether you fancy her or not seems a bit vague though. I'd just keep being friends and see what happens. If you did take it further and it didn't work out the work situation might be a bit tense.

Does she react in any way if you mention other lady friends? 

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 Subject :Re:does the girl from work fancy me.. 19-05-2009 12:12:45 
workman
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Joined: 17-05-2009 01:56:36
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I am vague about fancying her.  I guess I think I wouldn't be able to tolerate the immature games that she tends to play with men.  Within a short amount of time, I'd probably have enough and finish her.  As entertaining as she is to have as a friend, I really don't think I could go out with her now.  Of course she could always prove me wrong but that's where I stand at the moment.

 

As far as other women are concerned, I talked to her when I was going out with my last girlfriend and she called me a slut at one point and a pimp at another point.  She always asks me loads of questions, but I think she's just been generally nosey.  She did seem more flirtatious when I was going out with my last girlfriend and as soon as I stopped going out with her, she stepped down the flirting.  Almost as if she was no longer interested because I didn't have a girlfriend anymore, which I find quite bizarre.

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 Subject :Re:does the girl from work fancy me.. 02-06-2009 01:21:42 
Spookycat
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Joined: 15-05-2009 12:19:15
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 I think it's best just to stay mates with her really. It sounds like she wants to see if she could "get" you, then I think she'd lose interest. 

Best of luck anyway.

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 Subject :Re:does the girl from work fancy me.. 05-06-2009 22:33:29 
elli
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Joined: 06-05-2009 09:10:34
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She sounds like a messer.  I'm with spookycat -- be friends and look out for someone else.

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