I asked a lady out through facebook a few weeks ago.  I said do you fancy meeting up for a drink this weekend.  She didn't reply but a few hours later she updated her profile status saying:

"Not dating at the moment, going on holiday in two weeks, haha".

Was she taking the mick out of me or what?

I certainly don't want to go out with her anymore after that performance!  But just want to know whether she didn't like me and therefore decided to rub my nose in it.

Hi

I don't think this lady was taking the mick at all. If she dosen't know you personally then she's hardly likely to go out with you based on your Facebook profile. It was probably a case of not wanting to hurt your feelings by directly saying no and decided to just update her status instead knowing you would see it. I think asking a woman out this way can be a bit intimidating if you don't know each other. Remember, women have to be wary, too many get attacked or abused in some way. Not saying you are like that - obviously you like her and it has upset you that she updated her status in this way. I don't think you should just write her off as a nasty person who takes the piss out of men.  Perhaps if you had used the chat facility a lot or arranged to meet her under slightly different circumstances she might have been more receptive to you. If you feel bad about this then maybe you could send her a message asking if she enjoyed her holiday? I appreciate you have feelings and felt rejected but my guess is she didn't know how to respond and she wouldn't want to start seeing someone then disappear for 2 weeks.

Shelley

Hi Shelley

Though I couldn't see it before, after you explained the reason, I can see how this is not the right way to ask a woman out.

I guess I just get messed about by so many women, I presume the worst and think yet another is taking mick out of me.  I have overheard women talking about me before and I have heard many women's conversations where they talk about how they take the mick out of a bloke and play some daft games with a guy without any intention of going out with a guy long term.  And I guess it's those reasons that make me distrust women.

I certainly know there are decent women out there and I've met some of them, I'm just not very trusting until I've got to know them for a while.

Shyman

Hiya

Many thanks for the response to my feedback.

I did think that perhaps you had been let down by women in the past and that may have been why you misinterpreted what had happened. I can see though how you would feel that maybe this lady was taking the mick under the circumstances. I have heard women myself being unpleasant about men that have asked them out and I don't think they realise it takes a lot of bravery to do it. If a man asked me out and I wasn't attracted to him I would find it difficult because I am consious of his feelings. Although I am mature enough to handle it correctly, some girs arne't especially younger ones.

I always think it's better to get to know a woman face to face, you can tell a lot from chatting this way. Body language is subtle and unconsious and you sound like a sensitive person who could easily pick up if a woman was interested. Also remember that Facebook profiles don't always measure up to the real person, some people might blatantly lie to make themselves look good or they can just come across as someone completely different. I don't think anything beats meeting people face to face - the old fashioned chatting to someone in the pub (providing you haven't had too much to drink!), through a work situation or through friends.

It sounds like you have a lot to offer the right person although being hurt in the past can sometimes make us  mask our true selves out of fear. Always be open and honest, treat people well, repect yourself and go to new places and try and widen your circle of friends. This will give you the best chance of meeting a woman that will see how special you are!

Best Wishes

Shelley

Thanks Shelley

It really does take a lot of bravery to ask a woman out, particularly if you've had a lot of knock backs in the past.

I do prefer to meet women through friends, however at the moment most of the ones I fancy either have boyfriends already or are not attractive to me or not attracted to me.  It's too difficult approaching other women, because you generally find if you are not known to them, they are understandably very defensive and usually dismiss you.

Shyman